Hello from the dark side

I finally got my first comment on my blog. I was so surprised that I thought I hallucinated, but no, there it was.

What have I spent my days doing? Mostly, feeding, doing laundry, staring at the mirror at my naked self going OMFG, cleaning poo--the normal mom duties.

I only do about 4 things a day, so it is weird that I seem not to have time to do anything else. Those things are: feeding, pumping, changing diapers and doing laundry. But it's because I do them in endless 2 hour cycles. And it's a challenge to get whatever I need done in a 2 hour cycle, so that I can start the next 2 hour cycle on time. It reminds me of Battlestar Galactica, when the humans start jumping through space to escape the marauding cyclons. No matter where they jump, the cyclons are able to find them exactly 33 minutes later, so the humans live in 33 minute cycles for weeks, and look increasingly greasy and shitty because they can't sleep, eat, shower, etc. It's like V is a baby cylon, chasing me in these 2 hour cycles. When those 2 hours are up and there isn't something producing milk in her mouth, THE SHIT HITS THE FAN.

When I'm not doing those things, all I really want to do is watch tv or read a book. But then I remember that I'm supposed to play with my baby and read to her and talk to her and shit, so that she, like, develops. Sigh. So I read little baby books to her. Sometimes I read my books to her. So she's heard some Jane Eyre, Hunger Games, Sherlock Holmes, etc. Either way I'm pretty sure I sound like the teacher in Charlie Brown. "Mwa wa wa?" I sing to her too, but I've realized that I don't know any kids songs. I know Old MacDonald, but I don't know a lot of animals or their sounds. Under pressure, I said things like "giraffe" or "hippo", and then realized that I don't know what sounds they make. But it was so boring to limit myself to ducks and dogs and whatever. So now there are all sorts of shit on the farm, like rocks (which say "rock") and drug dealers (who say "pssst"). I also put V on the farm. She says "waahh" or "fart".

I've lately gotten my shit enough together to go for short trips outside. For ex, I've gone to TJ Maxx and Whole Foods for fun. That's right, a trip to TJ Maxx is a treat for me. The other day I got a pair of $35 boots of the highest quality pleather. Yeah parenthood!