RIP

I can't go one year with the same pair of earphones. I lose them (once on the same day I bought them), or I lose all of the little earbuds which means I need to buy new earphones or stick pointy plastic spears into my ears, or in this case, I obliterate them.

We were strolling up Central Park when I feel myself kicking something. I look down, behind me, but see nothing. So I continue. Ladeedadeedah when my stroller comes to a squeaky halt. I glance down at the wheels and I see this:

My earphones! I look back up to the stroller handlebar where I had hung them minutes ago. Of course, they were not there anymore because while I was skipping along the path the earphones had slowly slid down, onto the ground, into the wheel thing and strangled the wheel.

Meanwhile, V is master crankypants, having been in the stroller too long for her taste, and is yelling. AHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHH. People are looking at me, as if to say, hey do you know your baby is yelling? YES I KNOW THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP HOW DID I EVER MANAGE BEFORE GO THE F*CK AWAY.

I drag the stroller off the path and onto the grass. I take V out and sit her next to me on the grass. The yelling stops; ah blessed silence. I crouch down and delicately try to remove the earphones from inside the wheel. After a few minutes it was obvious that the thing was really stuck in there. So I start pulling. Yank. Yank. YANKYANKYANKYANK. I realize that I'm just pulling the earphones tighter and tighter around the wheel, but I don't know what else to do, and we are half a mile from home and I can't just abandon this piece of expensive garbage here.

Meanwhile people are walking by on the path and cooing at V. "Oh she's so cute. Oh look at her." LOOK AT ME PEOPLE! I AM NOT STICKING MY FACE ON THE GROUND WITH MY ASS IN THE AIR FOR FUN! I AM NOT BREAKING OUT SOME FREAKING YOGA POSE AND DOING DOWNWARD DOG MY STROLLER HAS BROKEN DOWN AND WE ARE STUCK HERE FOREVER AHHHH!

And then I yank hard enough that the wheel falls off. Nice, glad to know that the stroller wheel can just fly off like that. Now I feel secure. I rip off the earphones, jam the wheel back on, hope it stays and scoot on home.

RIP poor earphones.

Oh and I lost my credit card. Yay saturdays!