Unibrow

I haven't posted in forever, but I was so PO'ed today I have to get it out.

There are a number of little playgrounds in Riverside Park, called "tot lots". We go to one on 110th. Little kids run about, play in the sand box, pick their nose, whatever. V has a little shopping cart that she pushes around sometimes.




When she goes in the sand box, other tiny humans commandeer it and totter around the playground. That is fine with me--we just take it back when we have to go home.

Today, a little girl was zooming around with it. I see her opening the gate to the playground and exiting, and her dad following behind to bring her back inside. I turn back to V and watch her pour sand on her own head like a little genius, and then look back to the cart, and I don't see it.

I crane my head and I see the little girl, pushing it outside of the playground along the sidewalk, where people walk and bikers bike. It also leads out onto the streets. Her dad is following her. Ok... I wait for them to bring the cart back.

They don't. They just keep walking. They get 4 blocks or so away, and I am starting to wonder if fat unibrow girl and her crappy dad are just going home with my fucking cart. I can barely see them, so I dragged V out of the sandbox, hoisted her under my arm, and started walking towards them. When we got 10 feet away, they turned around and started back towards me. I went up the dad and said in my best bitchy voice:

"That's our cart."

He said, "Oh we're just bringing it back.'

I said, "Please don't take it out of the playground."

He said, "Oh of course!"

I said, "Well if that is so obvious, why the fuck are you out here outside of the playground?" Well I didn't say it, but I thought it really loud, and pivoted on my heel and told Violet loudly that they were "so rude!"

On our way home I clicked some of the buttons on the cart and all I got back was a hacky death rattle. Unibrow had dumped sand into the crevices in the cart, disabling its delightful melody functions. Hey Unibrow! Does this cart look like a sandbox to you, stupid?

Now I'm going to go try to fix the damn cart, which I will no longer be bringing to the playground for others to play with. See how some dumb, fat kids ruin things for everyone?

Also, Crappy Dad, your daughter was walking around the park with no shoes or socks on. It was 50 degrees and this is New York City, ok? She could have stepped on a condom or dog shit.

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